If you can get out to some beautiful scenery, great. Research has found that spending just 2 hours a week outdoors can improve your mental and physical health. This relieves the pressure to articulate your needs on the spot when someone asks. When people ask how they can help, hand them a note card or have them choose something they feel they can do.Get a stack of notecards and write down one item on each card. This could involve mowing the grass, grocery shopping, or simply talking on the phone. Sit down and make a list of what you need, including needs for tangible and emotional support.Write down what you need (aka the ‘notecard method’) Getting your needs out there will save you from trying to think of something in the moment, says Carpenter, and will allow someone who wants to be supportive to help you and make your life easier by checking something off your list. She advises being clear about whether you prefer to grieve privately, with the support of close friends or with a wide circle of people accessible through social networks. Lead the way in letting people know what you needĮveryone copes with loss in their own way, says Kristen Carpenter, PhD, a psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Simply making an effort to eat and stay hydrated can go a long way. But don’t beat yourself up over it, either. Indeed, research has shown that physical and emotional pain travel along the same pathways in the brain.ĭeep breathing, meditation, and exercise can be great ways to preserve your energy. But grieving isn’t just an emotional experience, it also depletes you physically. When you’re in the midst of heartbreak, it’s easy to forget to take care of your personal needs. “Sometimes by doing that, you unconsciously give those around you permission to feel their own grief, too, and you won’t feel like you’re alone in it anymore.” You just might find that a friend’s gone through similar pain and has some pointers for you. Grief is not the same for everyone, says Palumbo, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself permission to feel all of your sadness, anger, loneliness, or guilt. It’s essential to look after your own needs after heartbreak, even if you don’t always feel like it.
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